I am almost at the end of my journey. I feel as though God once again has brought me to the desert, put me in strange and complex circumstances, and taught me a few things thus helping me grow.
I want to tell you about an experience I had yesterday. Some of you may not understand it but I wanted to document it anyway and figured I would tell everyone reading about it.
I held a Bible study yesterday, it was Sunday here. I started this Bible study when I got here. There was absolutely no "religious" activities here when I came because it was frowned upon. The reason it was frowned upon is because there were one or two pushy Christian types who came out and were cramming their version of how things should be down peoples throats. One of them actually had a pamphlet stating that all Muslims were going to hell and such and it got caught by the wind and blew away in a country that is nothing but Muslim, so I can kind of understand.
I took it upon myself to start a common sense, down to earth, logical, scripture based Bible study that would help Christians get together and fellowship. The philosophy I imparted was that of my Pastor who I believe relates the Bible in the most common sense manner I have ever heard and has proven this by growing a great church.
Anyway, the Bible study started with me and one other guy about 3 months ago and yesterday we had 7 there. This is pretty good because people are coming and going all the time. I would say we have had a total of 20 come and go which is awesome to go from 0 to 20 especially considering I really don't know what I'm doing.
We rotate people giving the subject of study every week. Yesterday was my day. We looked at parts of Beatitudes and I spoke about rising above worldly restraints, figuring out what is of the flesh and what is of the spirit. I wasn't preaching, I was asking opinions. It has been an open forum kind of thing. It went well, lasted an hour, and I definitely took something from it.
About 4 hours later I went to work. It was dark but the moon was full. In the desert when the moon is full its like daytime at night. I was in a place alone with no one around me just staring out at the desert and looking at the night sky, it was beautiful. Then I had a feeling hit me I have never REALLY experienced before. I could definitely tell it was the Holy Spirit but much stronger than I have ever felt before. WHAM! It hit me and I knew it! It's hard to explain how I felt but I will try. I felt drunk with a spirit flowing in and through me like a cool running spring, I felt like running at full speed, yelling the good news that it's real. It being that I really felt as though I was being targeted, in a good way, by God. It was really cool. I even want to say I wanted to speak in tongues and I'm not even like that. People who have spoken in tongues always scared me like they were crazy, possessed but know I can understand where they are coming from even though it's not my style.
I had to control this feeling, channel it. All at once I felt as though time stood still, I was one with the world and past spirits, it was crazy. I was completely aware of my surroundings, as a matter of fact I was hoping no one would come and ruin it. It was really cool. God didn't speak to me, I didn't get hit by a lightning bolt, I didn't flop around on the floor, I didn't want to heal anybody, I didn't prophesize about the future, I just existed on a different plane for awhile. Meaning that I felt what this Christianity is all about. Its about love, feeling good, positivity, something bigger than yourself, meekness, respect, being a part of something, all the good things.
It showed me that no matter what happens, your taken care of as long as you believe and show the love to God. You don't have to hand out pamphlets I don't think. I'm not planning on it. You don't have to speak in tongues and flop around on the floor. I'm not planning on doing that either. But something I could do? Maybe not be afraid to raise my hands at Church because other people might see me, maybe not be afraid to praise the Lord in tough circumstances, maybe not be afraid to pray for my enemies, maybe just flat out freakin believe the Bible and live it.
The bottom line is that God is real, salvation is real, the Holy Spirit is real, this unconditional love is real.
People who are new in their faith or not faithful at all are probably saying one of two things after reading this. One, he's crazy and delusional. Or, two, I want to experience that too.
To the first, I don't really care what you think, if you had all the answers you probably wouldn't be reading this anyway.
To the second, I prayed for it, I beleived, I opened my heart and WAITED for it to happen, I believe that if you do that, God will bless you. He blessed me.